


all my life I promise to, come running home to you

by SuchASeeweedBrain



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex never meets Michael, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Hurt Alex, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Non-Chronological, Snapshots, The Angst comes from outside sources mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22629649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchASeeweedBrain/pseuds/SuchASeeweedBrain
Summary: Kyle had never felt horror quite like that day. Seeing your boss walking towards you with a grave expression on their face was never good, but Kyle couldn’t think of any patient that could have died in the last five minutes since he checked on them. So the dread that pooled in his stomach was deeper than that.'What happened?' Kyle managed to ask past the lump in his throat.OrKylex have been together since they were seventeen, Kyle gets the news of Alex's injury.
Relationships: Alex Manes/Kyle Valenti
Comments: 14
Kudos: 106





	all my life I promise to, come running home to you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lusblim4](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusblim4/gifts).



> Oooh, look at me, mixing in some Kylex with the Malex!  
> This is a birthday gift for my dear friend Lubs! Happy birthday! I'm so happy that I got to know you through our mutual love of Alex and shipping him with happiness! 
> 
> I've never really written something non-linear like this so that was fun!  
> This is technically a continuation of [Starry Night ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21659593), which I wrote for the Roswell Prompt Advent, but it is not really necessary to have read that first.

**December 14 th, 2018**

Kyle had never felt horror quite like that day. Seeing your boss walking towards you with a grave expression on their face was never good, but Kyle couldn’t think of any patient that could have died in the last five minutes since he checked on them. So the dread that pooled in his stomach was deeper than that.

‘Doctor Valenti, Kyle, I need you to come with me.’ Doctor Justine Campbell, never used his first name. She was a serious looking woman in her late forties, but the frown in her forehead was never quite this deep, and she never looked at him with _pity_.

‘What happened?’ Kyle managed to ask past the lump in his throat. She didn’t answer as she lead him in the direction of the staff room. ‘ _What_ _happened_?’ He pressed as she pushed the door open and walked inside. It was empty apart from them. She turned around and took a deep breath.

‘The Air Force called to the hospital, they’ve been trying to reach you.’ Kyle had never quite understood the expression that you felt like the floor was pulled out from under you, but now he did. He could hear the air rush from his lungs. He vaguely registered doctor Campbell’s concerned expression.

‘Is he alive?’ He managed to get out through his clenched jaws. ‘Just, please tell me if he’s alive.’

‘Yes.’ He stomped down on the immediate spark of relief. ‘But his injuries are serious.’

‘Tell me.’ Kyle found himself frozen in place while doctor Campbell shared the little information she’d been given. There was a rushing in his ears that wouldn’t go away, his hands were clammy and he just didn’t know what to do with himself. He knew, intellectually, that this could happen one day, he just never thought it would actually happen to Alex, his Alex. Smart, sharp, kind, funny Alex.

‘That is all I was told.’ Doctor Campbell concluded.

‘Where is he?’ Kyle asked, his mind was already three steps ahead. He’d need a plane ticket, his passport was at home, he could ask his mom to take Buffy in, Shelley could water the plants.

‘He is being transferred to Germany as soon as he’s stable.’

‘Landstuhl?’ Kyle asked, shrugging off his white doctor’s coat. He made his way over to his locker. Phone, keys, wallet.

‘Yes, but Valenti, there’s nothing you can do right now. You have a shift-‘

‘I don’t care!’ Kyle snapped, whirling around. He could feel the anger and fear and panic flare up like a goddamn wildfire. He couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t. ‘I am going to Germany, fire me if you want to, but I am leaving.’ He must have said it with enough conviction, because doctor Campbell sighed.

‘I just meant that he might not even be awake when you arrive. Don’t go rushing around, you might get yourself hurt, and that won’t help anyone.’ She shifted, giving him what he was sure was supposed to be an encouraging smile, but everything tasted like ash right now. ‘From what I understand, your boyfriend is a fighter. He will pull through.’ It was unlike her to say something like that when they both knew there was no guarantee of anything. It spoke to how rattled Kyle must have appeared.

He couldn’t get a flight directly to Germany. He had to fly to New York first and then cross the ocean on another flight that would take him to the nearest airport. As he sat in his window seat, only a few hours after fleeing the hospital like a (careful) bat out of hell, he let his mind wonder.

**May 6 th, 2009 **

It was strange, ever since they’d spend that evening in the tree house, smoking the weed Kyle had gotten from his friend on the football team, he couldn’t quite look at Alex the same way anymore. His eyes kept being drawn to the elegant bow of Alex’s mouth and the soft curve of his cheek. He couldn’t stop looking at the long line of his throat or his eyes, sparkling and warm, lined with kohl.

Kyle hadn’t really realized before, but Alex was beautiful. He reminded Kyle of Liz in certain ways. Warm smile, sharp mind and a kick ass sense of humour.

So, he’d realized all of that, but he didn’t actually _get it_ until he saw Alex after school that day, stalking through the hallway looking pissed. He was wearing a truly hideous sweater, the one that he had gotten just because he knew it would piss off his dad.

He wanted to take that sweater off him.

Yeah, that was the thought that made him realize what exactly was going on. He _liked_ Alex. It wasn’t just teenage hormones that had him dream about Alex’s firm thighs on either side of his, or his lips wrapped around the joint. It wasn’t just that Kyle and Liz had broken up, so that he now only had his hand for company that made him think about the lazy smile on Alex’s face, or the way he would grin, the sway of his hips, the line of his jaw.

It was a little ridiculous he hadn’t realized it before.

‘Hey Alex!’ He called out before he could stop himself. Alex turned around, the annoyed expression disappeared from his face, replaced by a smile.

‘Oh, hey K.’

‘Hey, where are you off to?’ Kyle asked, jogging over to him.

‘My guitar is missing from the music room, I’m looking for it.’ Annoyance sparked behind those deep, dark eyes again.

‘That old thing? Oh come on, that can wait until tomorrow.’ Kyle said, earning an eyeroll. ‘Let’s hang out.’

‘Don’t you have practice?’ Alex asked, but he wasn’t trying to walk away anymore, which generally meant he was caving already.

‘Nope, got cancelled because it is coach’s wedding anniversary today and he totally forgot about it. So he’s off now, buying a gift for his wife.’ Kyle shrugged. ‘C’mon, we can head to the tree house.’ Alex sighed, looking over his shoulder before turning to Kyle fully.

‘Alright, fine.’ Alex gave in. ‘But if it’s not back in the music room tomorrow, you’re helping me look for it.’

‘Absolutely.’ Kyle agreed easily.

‘Okay, let’s go.’ Alex said and they headed out of the school together.

Alex knew something was up, his constant glances at Kyle gave that much away. Subtlety had never been one of Kyle’s strengths and Alex had always been able to read him better than anyone. There was a tension in the air around them that Kyle had a hard time identifying at first. It wasn’t an angry tension, where Kyle could feel the waves of _fuck you_ radiate off Alex. No, this tension was lighter, warmer, crackling in the air like the feeling right before fireworks went off.

Alex was patient. Kyle was antsy with this new revelation whirling around his brain.

‘Remember what I said the other week?’ Kyle asked, when he finally couldn’t deal with the silence anymore. Alex looked a little relieved.

‘You talk a lot.’

‘When we smoked that weed.’ Kyle clarified and because he was looking at Alex, he noticed the hint of tension slipping into his posture.

‘Let’s just pretend I don’t remember, you can clarify.’

‘I’m pretty sure I said I wanted to kiss you, right?’ Kyle said, clenching his jaw, but not letting himself back out. He may have been high, but he wasn’t insane. ‘And then you said we shouldn’t because we were high.’ Alex watched him carefully for a few seconds.

‘I remember that.’ Kyle hated the guarded look on his face, but he understood.

‘Well, was that the only reason for you? Because I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m pretty sure I still want to kiss you.’ Alex’s eyebrows darted towards his hairline.

‘You’re _pretty_ _sure_?’ Alex asked, his fingers fiddling with the comic in his hands was the only sign of his nerves.

‘Well, yeah. It kind of dawned on me today that I like you in the way I liked Liz.’

‘Liked? Past tense?’ Alex asked with a disbelieving eyebrow raise. ‘You were making heart eyes at her a week ago.’

‘She was being super smart.’ Kyle said defensively. Alex laughed, shaking his head. ‘You’re smart, snarky and gorgeous, and so is she, what can I say? I have a type.’

‘You’re an idiot.’ Alex leaned forward a little, narrowing his eyes at Kyle. ‘You’re not high, are you?’

‘ _No_.’ Kyle said and he sighed. ‘Is it really that hard to believe I like you like that?’ It was like Alex closed the shutters, but Kyle caught the glimpse of vulnerability that Alex didn’t quite manage to hide.

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

‘Alex, you are great. You know that, right?’ Kyle pressed. He didn’t realize he’d put his hand on Alex’s until he looked down.

‘I’m just- but I’m just me.’ Alex said to his knees.

‘Yeah. You are.’ Kyle said with a grin.

‘My dad would kill me if he ever found out.’ That sentence made Kyle’s blood run cold. Jesse Manes was not a nice man, and Kyle had his suspicions about what went on in that house, but to hear Alex say that was a whole other thing.

‘He won’t, and if he does, I’ll protect you.’

‘That’s what I’m afraid of.’ Alex said, his fingers tangling with Kyle’s. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt, just because you’re with me.’

‘He wouldn’t hurt me. My dad would kick his ass.’ Kyle said, with as much confidence as he could master. It was apparently enough, because Alex sighed and smiled slowly.

‘You’re going to Harvard for your pre-med, right?’ Kyle nodded.

‘Okay. Well, that happens to be in the same city as MIT.’ Alex grinned and Kyle could feel himself grin too. He ran his thumb over Alex’s knuckles and then pulled him closer, sliding a hand into Alex’s hair.

‘This is going to be great.’ He said before kissing Alex, letting any worries he may have had float away. They’d be just fine.

**December 14 th, 2018**

Things didn’t work out that way, Kyle remembered.

It still gave him chills to think about the look on Jesse Manes’ face when he found him and Alex in Alex’s bedroom. They hadn’t even been doing anything incriminating, but he’d just _known_.

The next thing he knew, Alex’s plans to go to MIT went out of the window and he had enlisted in the Air Force. He still remembered the devastation on Alex’s face when he told Kyle, how he’d immediately assured him he wouldn’t be angry if Kyle tried to break things off, how he understood. It was fine.

Kyle had fought tooth and nail to convince Alex he wasn’t just going to bail on him because his father forced him into joining the Air Force. He didn’t even back out when Alex told him it wasn’t just that. That it wasn’t just his father forcing him, that he wanted to prove he could do it, that he wasn’t weak, that he could win.

That, admittedly, sparked a full blown argument.

But still, Kyle refused to give in. He wanted to be with Alex, Alex wanted to be with him, he wasn’t going to let this break them. DADT or not. Jesse Manes or not. War or not. He had Alex and he was going to hold onto him.

**September 10 th, 2011**

The second it was announced that DADT had been repealed, Kyle was on the phone to Alex. He literally dropped everything (his book landing on the floor with a loud thump, causing several classmates to look over at him) and dialled the number he could usually reach Alex on, if he wasn’t on patrol or a mission of some kind. Alex didn’t talk much about what he did overseas, Kyle wasn’t even thinking about the time difference, he just wanted to hear Alex’s voice.

The longer the phone rang the more Kyle started to hesitate about what he was doing. Was this really that big of a deal? Alex was a private person, would this matter? Would this make a difference?

He was about to hang up and just send Alex and excited email when the line clicked to life. There was the sound of rustling and what sounded like stumbling, a cough and then-

‘Yeah?’ Alex’s croaky voice came over the line. Kyle had woken him up. He did the math in his head. It was nearly midnight for him.

‘Shit sorry, I forgot about the time difference.’ Kyle opened with. He made a face as he waited for Alex’s response. Luckily the low chuckle didn’t sound mad, it did send a shiver down Kyle’s spine.

‘It’s fine. Normally I would have been awake, but we were out early this morning.’ He could hear sounds that he was pretty sure mean that Alex just stepped outside. ‘What’s up?’ He hadn’t heard yet.

‘The President just made the formal announcement.’ Kyle could hear the excitement in his own voice. ‘DADT has officially been repealed.’ The breath Alex’s let out was both relieved and a little scared.

‘Shit.’ Alex said, low and disbelieving.

‘Yeah.’ Kyle agreed. ‘This is good, right?’

‘Yes, obviously.’ Alex said, but he didn’t sound as elated as Kyle felt, which, was fair. Alex’s father was still his father, this repeal would change nothing about that. ‘God I miss you.’ The comment was soft and Kyle could hear voices on the other end of the line that weren’t Alex’s. Loud, rambunctious.

‘I miss you too.’ Kyle said, he could feel his smile go painfully soft. He bend down to pick up his book, finally moving from where he’d frozen in place in the hallway. As he started heading toward his room, he just listened to Alex breathe for a little bit. Neither of them seemed to know what to say, but neither of them was willing to hang up yet.

‘How’s school?’ Alex asked after a minute.

‘Same old, how’s war?’

‘Same old.’ Alex said, short humourless laugh. ‘Have you talked to Liz at all?’ Alex asked and he could hear the barely hidden pain in the words. Liz had pretty much dropped off the face of the earth after Rosa died right before graduation. Both Alex, Kyle and Maria had tried to keep in touch with her, but it was like she just wanted to forget all about Roswell. Kyle understood that, in a way.

‘No, I left a message, but she didn’t reply. I’m thinking of sending an email, maybe that will work, even if it’s just to let her know I’m thinking about her.’ Alex hummed.

‘Yeah I was thinking of doing the same.’ He agreed. ‘Maybe she’ll read them, that way she’ll at least know we haven’t just dropped her.’

‘Good call.’ Kyle said, he could feel the dreaded end of their call approach. ‘Listen, I’m sorry for calling so late, I was just excited.’

‘It’s fine. I’m glad you called.’ Alex said, sighing. Kyle could picture him perfectly. Head tipped back to look up at the stars, hair messy, clothes rumpled. Tanned. _Beautiful_.

‘We’ll talk soon.’

‘Yes, we will.’ Alex said.

**December 14 th, 2018**

He touched down in New York and made his way to the International Flights terminal, where he’d be able to board his flight to Germany. The panicked feeling in his chest hadn’t really subsided yet and Kyle just knew this flight was going to fuck him up. Jetlag, combined with lack of sleep and a total panic/ adrenaline crash, it was going to fucking suck.

But none of that mattered, as long as he got to see Alex with his own eyes, got to hear the rhythmic beeping of his heartrate monitor. He didn’t even know how he was going to get to the hospital once he got across the ocean, but he’d be willing to steal a car if he had to.

He must have looked rattled because security took him aside to ask additional questions. Luckily, once he explained he was flying to Germany because his boyfriend (who was in the Air Force) had gotten seriously injured, they let him be. In fact, the flight attendant offered him a free drink. He knew he had to drink something, but the only thing that didn’t make him feel like throwing up was water, so he asked for that. He should have eaten too, but he didn’t.

The captain welcomed them on the flight to Germany, he hoped they had a pleasant flight, Kyle just hoped it’d be a short one. The faster they got to Germany the better.

**February 4 th, 2012**

When Alex had asked him to come pick him up at the airport, Kyle had been expecting it to be Logan. Maybe he’d wait outside, by the car, where it’d most likely just be Alex, but no, Alex asked him to come to the big one, JFK international. He gave him the terminal number and everything. Kyle guessed that meant Alex had decided to come out for real, he figured he’d told his guys, his unit.

So he left early on that Friday, his professor even gave him the all clear to leave when he explained why he wanted to miss her lecture.

Kyle hadn’t quite been expecting to be surrounded by wives, kids, balloons, moms, dads, the whole shebang. He didn’t even bring flowers. Should he have brought flowers? Shit, he should have brought flowers. No. He needed to chill, Alex was not a flower kind of guy. Chocolates, however. Fuck. Did he have time to run to the airport shop?

He did not.

‘Baby!’ The older woman next to him cried out in a tone so shrill it made Kyle flinch.

The first men in uniform started to appear through the doors. Kyle found himself unable to resist standing on his tiptoes to find Alex. He was glad there weren’t so many people there that he couldn’t move. He caught sight of a messy mop of brown hair.

‘Alex!’ He called out before he could even be really sure it was him. He wasn’t wrong though.

He looked tired beyond belief, but also relieved and really damn happy as his eyes locked with Kyle’s. He grinned. Kyle barely registered it, but the two guys next to Alex strained their necks to get a look at him. None of that seemed important however, while Alex was making his way to him.

Alex even smelled tired. That was the first thing Kyle registered when Alex dropped his bag and wrapped his arms tightly around him. He hugged him back, letting his body relax, because Alex was here, he was warm and firm and _alive_. Right under Kyle’s hands. He could feel Alex’s heartbeat against his skin where he’d pressed his face into Alex’s neck. Slow and steady.

‘Fucking hell, I’ve missed you.’ Alex said, his voice low and rough in Kyle’s ear. Kyle didn’t even try to hide the shiver that ran down his spine.

‘I’ve missed you too, a lot.’ Kyle said, finding his voice a little chocked up. He could feel Alex smile against his shoulder.

‘C’mon.’ Alex wrapped a hand around his wrist as he stepped back and started pulling him along. He grabbed his bag with his other hand.

‘Where are we going?’ Kyle kind of hoped they could sneak into a bathroom somewhere and make out for a bit. It had been far too long since he’d kissed Alex.

‘I want to introduce you to some people.’ Oh. _Oh_. Okay, they were doing that thing. Shit, Kyle wished he’d dressed up a little more. Well, no, if he’d been wearing anything fancier than his jeans/ shirt/ jacket combo, Alex would have laughed at him. He did always say Kyle wore a t-shirt better than anyone else he’d ever met, so he’d just hold on to that.

‘There he is!’ One of the guys he was pretty sure he’d seen with Alex before grinned and waved them over. He was tall, easily over six foot, build like a goddamn brick wall. He was large all around, big head, big nose, big mouth. He would have looked pretty intimidating, had it not been for the little girl in a pink princess dress sitting on his hip pressing red heart shaped stickers onto his cheeks. ‘This little sh- guy, right here, is the reason we get to be home right now.’ The man said proudly, pulling Alex closer by his shoulder. Alex rolled his eyes.

‘Oh please that’s bull-…poopy.’ Alex said and Kyle had to bite his lip, hard in order not to grin.

‘So, Manes, where’s ya girl?’ The second guy asked. He was not as tall, maybe 5’9 with his arm wrapped around a beautiful young woman with dark glossy hair. Alex rolled his eyes again.

‘Yeah Manes, you said we’d get to meet your girl.’ Big guy said. The woman next to him, fierce looking, with sharp blue eyes and shoulder-length brown hair, elbowed him in the side, throwing a pointed look at Kyle.

‘I never said anything about meeting my _girl_.’ Alex said, tugging Kyle closer to him. He felt very much scrutinized as five pairs of eyes studied him. ‘This is Kyle, my boyfriend.’

Well, so, Alex hadn’t actually come out properly. He was doing that right there and then. Right now. By introducing them to Kyle. Good god.

‘Hi.’ Kyle said, trying to smile politely.

‘Hello, I’m Katherine Taylor.’ The wife (or he at least assumed she was) of big guy recovered first. It probably only took her a second or two, but it felt like an eternity. ‘This is my husband Shawn and this is our daughter Aileen. Say hello, baby.’ The little girl smiled a gap-toothed grin at him.

‘Hello.’ She said cheerfully. ‘Do you want a sticker?’ Kyle grinned back at her.

‘I’d love to give one to Alex, would that be okay?’ He asked and she nodded firmly.

‘Yes, he would look pretty with a sticker.’ She decided, carefully handing him two small, red, heart-shaped stickers.

‘I agree.’ Kyle turned to Alex with a grin. Alex narrowed his eyes at him, but let him carefully put the two stickers on each of his cheeks.

‘This is gonna ruin my street cred.’ Alex said, faux-annoyed. Kyle laughed.

‘What street cred?’

‘Hi.’ The other soldier stepped forward. ‘Sorry for my staring. I’m Jason Marwick, this is my girlfriend Camila.’

‘That’s alright.’ Kyle said, shaking Jason’s hand. ‘Kyle Valenti.’

‘Nice to meet you man. So, you’re the one that has Manes all moony-eyed and lovey dovey, huh?’ Alex titled his head in the way that Kyle recognized as his Danger Tilt. Jason seemed to know that as well, because he grinned sheepishly and took a step closer to his girlfriend.

‘I guess?’ Kyle said, looking at Alex with a smile. ‘I’d hope so, otherwise this would be really awkward.’

‘Okay, we’re leaving. You two have fun, don’t do anything stupid. Katherine, Aileen, Camila, it was lovely to see you again.’ Alex said with the charming smile that made Kyle’s stomach clench.

‘Yes, sir.’ Jason said, mocking, and Alex gave him a little shove before pulling him in for a hug.

‘Idiot.’ Alex said fondly.

‘Smartass.’ Jason replied easily.

‘Surf, don’t break any bones.’ Alex said, resting his hand on the big man’s shoulder.

‘Gotcha.’ Shawn nodded.

‘See you in a few.’ Alex said before grinning at Kyle and heading for the exit.

**December 14 th, 2018**

Kyle didn’t sleep on the plane. He just stared out of the window, praying to a God he didn’t believe in, any God that would listen to please, _please_ let him survive. He wasn’t even sure what he offered, just that it was a lot. Maybe his first born? (He wasn’t likely to have one so it was an easy bargain, or would adoptive kids count? That was something to consider.)

He didn’t even realize it had to have been _hours_ , the only thing that clued him in was the captain’s sudden announcement they were going to start their descent.

His panic had been at such a consistent level for the last god-knows-how-many hours, that he almost didn’t really feel it anymore. He just felt waves of paralyzing fear, followed by a feeling so cold and empty it send him back into panic.

He was eternally grateful that the taxi driver he approached spoke some English. He seemed to understand where Kyle wanted to go and considering Kyle didn’t give two flying fucks how much the trip would cost him, the driver agreed to take him there.

It was a damn miracle he didn’t forget his suitcase on the way out of the airport.

**August 25 th, 2015**

‘I’m just so tired, K.’ Alex said, grainy hands rubbing over his barely focussed face. Their Skype connection was particularly shit today.

‘Same.’ Kyle said, yawning. He’d known medical school would be a bitch but he didn’t know exhaustion like this existed until now.

‘Another long week?’

‘All I know at this point are long weeks.’ Kyle said, flipping mindlessly through his notebook.

‘Same.’ Alex echoed. That made Kyle smile.

‘I miss you.’

‘I miss you too.’

‘I love you.’ Alex gave him a warm smile that Kyle could feel in his bones, even through the shitty connection.

‘I love you too.’

**December 14 th, 2018**

Landstuhl regional medical centre was a big, white building, seemingly sectioned off in different wings. It was cold as fuck outside and Kyle hadn’t brought a proper jacket, so he hurried into the warmth of the hospital. The inside looked just like every other hospital Kyle had ever been in. Except the signs and announcements were done in both German and English.

He approached the front desk.

‘Hello sir, what can I do for you?’ The lady behind the desk asked with near perfect pronunciation.

‘Hi, I am looking for Captain Alex Manes? I received a call today- yesterday?-no today, I think, that he was brought here?’ He must have looked and sounded frazzled enough, because the lady gave him a sympathetic look and typed something on her computer.

‘Your name, sir?’

‘Kyle Valenti.’

‘Alright sir, thank you. I had to check, this patient has a very limited list of people that are allowed to see him, you are one of them.’

‘Can you tell me how he is?’ Kyle asked, he knew she probably wouldn’t know, but he’d ask every single person he’d see until someone told him Alex would be okay.

‘I cannot tell you any more than that he is alive.’ She said. ‘That is all, I am afraid.’

‘Thank you.’

She gave him directions to what Kyle understood was their ICU. Kyle tried to breathe through his nausea as he headed to the right wing. There was a nurse waiting for him when he got there. She was clearly American, her Southern (Dallas?) accent clear as day.

She updated Kyle on Alex’s condition. She seemed to know he was a doctor, because she didn’t bother with any of the explanations of the medical terms. Intellectually, he knew it was bad, but it didn’t truly hit him until he saw Alex in the hospital bed.

There were wires and monitors and IVs everywhere.

His beautiful face was covered in bruises and several small cuts, a deeper one over his left eyebrow, one eye was nearly swollen shut. His left arm was in a sling, bandages wrapped around his chest. The most just-stab-me-in-the-heart-that-would-hurt-less part though, was how his left leg made the normal impression upon the sheets, while his right leg cut off just below the knee.

Gone. Amputated.

Kyle suddenly felt like he couldn’t stand up much longer, so he grabbed the chair nearby and dragged it close to the bed. His shaking hands reached out to Alex’s still one. Even though he was warm, the stillness of him was the last straw. Kyle let his head fall onto the bed next to Alex’s thigh and let the sob escape him.

Kyle cried himself to sleep.

It took too long for Alex to wake up.

The doctors assured him that by some miracle, Alex’s big, extraordinary brain wasn’t damaged.

Kyle just wanted him to open his eyes.

Kyle took an oath. That was the only reason he didn’t stab Jesse Manes in the neck with a scalpel when he tried to visit Alex. Luckily, he was not on Alex’s approved list of visitors. Take that asshole.

Alex’s brother Hunter was the only one of his family that Alex had put on the list, apparently.

Kyle had never liked any of Alex’s family, but he had to admit Hunter was the least bad of them. He had a soul. That was more than he could say for the rest of them. Hunter looked at his brother, his little brother and tears welled up in his eyes. he wiped them away with a quick, annoyed move. Kyle didn’t mention it.

‘How is he?’ He asked after clearing his throat.

‘They’re still keeping him under, but they want to wake him up later today.’ Kyle said. ‘Chest x-rays looked good.’

‘Did you see them?’ He asked, they were technically not supposed to be in there together, but as much as Hunter was the brother with a soul, he still didn’t want him to be alone with Alex.

‘Yes, they looked good.’ Kyle confirmed.

‘He was so damn lucky.’ Hunter said, rubbing both hands over his face.

‘You know what happened?’ Kyle asked.

‘I’m not supposed to, but I have friends. All I know is that there was an explosion, half his team died, Alex somehow didn’t.’ Hunter said. ‘Can you text me when he wakes up? I’ll go update the rest.’

‘They’re not allowed in here.’ Kyle said, again.

‘I know, but they still want to know.’ Kyle hummed noncommittally. He wasn’t convinced that they actually cared.

Alex woke up slowly and groggily. There was a doctor there along with Kyle, ready to calm Alex down if he panicked.

‘Hey baby.’ Kyle was unable to stop himself as Alex blinked at him, confused look on his face.

‘K?’ His voice was rough and it send him into a coughing fit, his right hand came to rest over his ribs. The doctor held a cup of water with a straw out to him and Alex took a grateful sip. ‘What? Where am I?’

‘Landstuhl.’ Kyle said and Alex blinked at him a few times.

‘Captain Manes, you were injured, you were brought to this hospital two days ago.’ The doctor said. Alex’s eyes drifted from Kyle to the doctor. He still looked groggy, the drugs not entirely out of his system and the pain meds still on high. His eyes drifted down to his arm, still in the sling and then-

Kyle could see the exact moment where Alex noticed his leg. They’d discussed setting a board at his hips so he couldn’t see, but Kyle had reasoned Alex was too smart, he’d know what that meant.

Cheeks that had been rosy before, lost all of their colour.

‘Your right leg was amputated below the knee. It was unsavable.’ The doctor said. Kyle took Alex’s shaking hand in his.

‘It’s okay. You’re okay.’ Kyle said, even though it would mean absolutely nothing. He had to say _something_.

‘I- I- my leg.’ Alex scrambled. ‘My team-‘

‘Alex, _Alex_ , baby.’ Kyle said, keeping firm pressure on Alex’s hand. ‘You need to stay calm, or they’ll sedate you again.’ Alex was shaking all over now. He struggled, but managed to focus on Kyle.

‘What happened?’ He said, fighting to stay in control. He could almost see Alex compartmentalizing. Shoving his missing leg aside to focus on his team first.

‘I’m not sure. All Hunter said was that there was an explosion.’ Kyle said, glancing at the doctor.

‘What happened is not what matters most, right now. What matters most is your recovery.’ Alex narrowed his eye at the doctor. His one eye that was still swollen didn’t change much.

‘What matters most is my team, are they in here too? Are they alive?’ Alex stumbled over the last word, clearly he was putting up an admirable front to hide his panic.

_Half his team died_

Hunters words rung bitter in Kyle’s memory. He couldn’t tell Alex that without having actual information.

‘We don’t know.’ Kyle said. ‘Someone from the Air Force should come by within the next few days, they should have more information.’ Alex nodded his head, slowly, blank and just so tired.

‘And my leg?’ His voice cracked.

‘When you have healed sufficiently, you will begin physical therapy.’ The doctor said, watching Alex closely.

‘Prosthetic?’ Alex asked, still trying to appear collected.

‘That would be the goal.’ Alex swallowed and nodded again. Kyle recognized that look.

‘Could we have a moment?’ He asked the doctor, who nodded immediately.

‘Of course, if you need anything, the call button is over there.’ Alex nodded vaguely and Kyle tried to smile reassuringly.

As soon as the door closed behind the doctor Alex released a shuddering breath.

‘You came all the way to Germany?’

‘Of course I did. I came the second I heard.’ Kyle could read the doubt all over Alex’s face. ‘It’s been nine years Alex, when are you going to accept I’m not leaving you? No matter what. I love you, leg or no leg, pretty or not pretty, angry, sad, happy, I don’t care.’ Again, he could read the question all over Alex’s face: How did you know that’s what I was thinking?

‘That sounds dangerously close to wedding vows, K.’ Alex said instead, going for joking, but coming out scared.

‘Hey, I’d marry you any day of the week.’

‘Let’s see if you still want me in a few months, huh.’

Kyle knew that there was nothing he could say right now that would change Alex’s mind. The only thing that would help with that would be staying. He was not going to leave until someone dragged him from Alex’s side and even then he’d go kicking and screaming. Alex was his and he was Alex’s and that was it.

It wasn’t easy. Not even a little bit.

But as stubborn as Alex was, two could play that game.

Alex went through a lot. The confirmed death of four of his seven team members. His injuries, the physical therapy, learning to walk with his new prosthetic. There weren’t just physical scars, obviously, there were plenty of mental ones too. Those were the hardest.

Kyle could not stay in Germany forever. He had a job to get back to. He pushed it as long as he could, but he still had to leave before Alex was cleared to fly back to the US. The panic at having to leave Alex behind in Germany, was almost enough to send him into a full blown panic attack.

Alex got placed in a rehab facility in Santa Fe, Kyle requested a transfer to a hospital there. Doctor Campbell sighed, but she put in the transfer, and by some miracle, it went through. So they settled in Santa Fe.

Kyle proposed, every single Sunday for months, with a stubbornness that rivalled Alex’s. It was his way of saying: I am not leaving. Alex went from annoyed to fond at his insistence.

It was November by the time that Alex really felt like himself again. Kyle was actually starting to hope he might accept his proposal one of these days. However, in true Alex fashion, one Saturday morning as they woke up in the warm sunlight, stretched out on their bed, Alex turned to him and said:

‘Marry me?’

‘Yes.’

**Author's Note:**

> Happy endings, happy endings! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight


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